How I learned to love my incessant blushing

It's a Saturday afternoon and I'm standing in line at a supermarket holding a lemon, and lemon-infused tonic. I also happen to be wearing a lemon print dress. Suddenly a voice from behind me says: "I take it you like lemons, then!". 

I can feel the blood rushing to my face. The thought of my puce face is making me want give up on my gin and tonic ingredients. 

Rather than turning to reply to the man, I move my head shyly and mumble a response, trying as best I can to hide my face and chest, which are bright red. 

This was the moment I knew something needed to change. 

Me wearing that lemon print dress.

Credit: Rachel Thompson

Charles Darwin once described blushing  as "the most peculiar and the most human of all expressions," that is brought on by "thinking of what others think of us." 

According to psychiatry professor Dr. Enrique Jadresic, facial blushing has been described as "a specific symptom of social phobia," recent studies suggest 50 percent of patients with social phobia blush frequently. 

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How to stop caring what people think about you

My blushing wasn't just occurring when I was approached unexpectedly by strangers. It was happening at work, during social situations, and when I least expected it. Whenever my older male boss would talk to me, I'd go so red that I would avoid him so could prevent further blushing embarrassment. 

It made no sense whatsoever. But then again, my blushing has never made sense. Sure, it's pretty common to blush in the presence of a crush, or when something embarrassing happens, but when your boss says "hi" to you? Or, when your colleagues ask you a simple work-related question? 

I felt undermined by my own body; as if I wasn't in control of myself, as if I wasn't confident in what I was doing. But, in reality, I was sure of myself; I knew exactly what I was doing; and I didn't want the colour of my cheeks to imply otherwise. I would deliberately avoid making eye contact with people when I could feel my face flushing. I'd try to hide my face and I'd avoid talking to certain people who I'd blushed in front of previously. 

According to anxiety therapist Jodi Aman, "Some people get embarrassed about their own blushing which — because embarrassment increases discomfort — can perpetuate the situation." When Aman treats patients who blush, she encourages them to change their feelings towards their blushing. 

"The key to settling the redness is not to be embarrassed."

"A good way I help people do that is to let them know how blushing is received by others. People feel more forgiving, affectionate and trusting to a person they see blushing. We humans read blushing as honest and virtuous because we don't have to guess if the blusher is being true."

"If a blusher can embrace their blushing as a positive attribute, they will no longer be embarrassed and this would decrease the length of their blush," she continued. 

This is the approach I decided to take. 

It was a challenge at first, but one day something just clicked. Why was I wasting my young years feeling ashamed about something totally harmless and outside of my control? People spend a fortune trying to make their cheeks rosier, but I was getting it free of charge. Plus, many people find blushing utterly charming. In view of these things, I concluded there are far worse things in the world than a pair of rosy cheeks. 

I decided to go with it. If my face is going to go red; so what? I'm gonna keep smiling with my head held high.

If my face is going to go red; so what? I'm gonna keep smiling with my head held high.

Of course it's easier said than done. For many people, going bright red can make an awkward situation even more humiliating. Sometimes my friends point it out which can make me feel more self-conscious. I was afraid that by being less ashamed about my blushing -- and consequently making myself more visible — people would point it out and poke fun. What if people thought I fancied them because I blushed in their presence?

I decided that being open with people about my blushing would help to assuage any concerns I had about people getting the wrong idea. That's not to say that I tell everyone I meet that I blush a lot, I just talk about it with friends and colleagues, and tell them how weird it is that my face does this crazy thing for no reason. 

My resolve to wear my blushing with pride is tested regularly, but it's a work in progress. 

I've told myself not to cower or hide my face, because one day I'll look back and wonder why I wasted my twenties feeling ashamed. 

If you've got it flaunt it.  

Topics Beauty

This article addresses the causes of blushing and lists 12 ways to prevent it.

Those who are easily stressed or have anxiety disorders or social phobias may blush more than others. While it can cause people to feel self-conscious, blushing is not in itself harmful.

Blushing is a natural bodily response that is triggered by the sympathetic nervous system — a complex network of nerves that activate “fight or flight” mode.

Stress or embarrassment can cause some people’s cheeks to turn pink or reddish, an occurrence known as blushing. A person can try various techniques to prevent or stop blushing.

However, there are other causes of blushing, which include:

In fact, some research has found that just by telling someone they are blushing is enough to induce it.

Blood vessels in the face get wider and increase blood flow to the skin, which leads to the characteristic redness of blushing.

This natural reaction occurs in the face of a perceived threat, and it can also be triggered by the onset of a powerful emotion such as stress , shame, or embarrassment.

Here are some ways to stop severe or frequent blushing:

1. Breathe

Breathing deeply and slowly will tell the brain to relax. Once relaxed, the body will stop releasing stress hormones, the heartbeat will slow to normal levels, and blood pressure will return to normal.

These events will reduce the level of blood rushing to the face, thereby preventing blushing.

2. Accept the blushing

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Embracing blushing, and smiling and laughing more often, may help to ease anxiety and boost confidence.

Sometimes, blushing in response to a stressful situation can be another a source of stress, thereby worsening the facial redness. By acknowledging and accepting the blushing, it may stop this cycle.

Interestingly, research suggests that most people overestimate the impact that blushing has on them.

In fact, blushing may not be such a bad thing. Some research has found that those who blush are more likely to be forgiven by other people, which can help avert a conflict.

3. Smile and laugh

Research suggests that smiling may reduce stress levels and regulate the body’s natural stress responses.

According to a 2012 study, people who carry out stressful tasks while smiling have lower heart rates following the task than people who do not smile while carrying out the same chores. Participants who smile also report feeling better during the activity than those who maintain a neutral expression.

4. Regulate the temperature

Blushing is often more severe in warmer temperatures. To reduce facial redness, move to a cooler area, switch on the air conditioning, or remove some layers of clothing. Sipping cold water can also be effective.

5. Avoid eye contact

Calm down by avoiding eye contact with anyone who may be contributing to the stress or embarrassment. Some people may simply need to avert their gaze for a moment while others may need to close their eyes momentarily.

6. Wear makeup

Using a green-tinted, color-correcting makeup can mask blushing because the green neutralizes the redness of the cheeks.

This makeup may be especially beneficial for those who experience regular or severe blushing only in certain situations, such as during a school presentation or a work meeting.

7. Avoid triggers

People who have specific blush triggers may wish to avoid them. For example, those who are bothered by blushing that arises from consuming spicy foods, alcohol, or hot drinks should try to avoid eating or drinking these items.

8. Stay out of the limelight

It may not always be feasible — or socially desirable — but staying out of the limelight can help limit blushing. The reason for this is because being the center of attention can cause blushing.

For example, when participants were asked to sing out loud while someone observed one side of their face, researchers found that the side of the face being watched got hotter and redder than the other side.

9. Treat anxiety disorders

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If the blushing is caused by anxiety, it is important to recieve treatment to address the anxiety itself.

Severe blushing that is linked to an anxiety disorder or social phobia may be treated through medication or therapy.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can be an effective treatment for many anxiety-related conditions.

CBT works by challenging any negative and unrealistic thoughts that cause unhelpful feelings, bodily responses, and behaviors.

10. Ask a doctor about changing medication

Because some medications can increase the frequency or severity of blushing, it may be helpful to speak with a doctor about switching to an alternative drug which does not cause blushing.

11. Address medical conditions

If blushing is caused by the skin condition rosacea, an excessive sweating disorder known as hyperhidrosis, or another medical condition, a doctor may be able to prescribe a treatment to address the underlying disorder and alleviate blushing.

12. Surgery

Some people who experience severe blushing that impacts their quality of life and interpersonal relationships may wish to consider surgery.

Endoscopic thoracic surgery (ETS) is the most commonly used surgery for excessive blushing. It involves severing nerves to keep facial blood vessels closed.

Most people who undergo ETS for blushing are satisfied with the outcome, according to some research. However, complications can occur, including infection and eyelid drooping. The probability of experiencing complications increases with age, while satisfaction with the surgery decreases with age.